you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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