So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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