i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
