Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
