I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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