Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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