that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
