call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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