xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
