does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
