I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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