i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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