Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My liver just broke up with me...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
