So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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