TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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