HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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