girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
