And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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