cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
