I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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