is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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