so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
