I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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