I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
