i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
