Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
