her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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