i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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