Can i not drive my cunt home
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize