We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
