I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
