It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
