I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize