Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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