Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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