Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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