I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
