i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
