If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
