The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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