just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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