what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Watching her eat just hurts me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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