I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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