seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
