talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day