so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!