There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower