Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?