Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we're making bets on your personal life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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