Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
