my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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