he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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