Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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