Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
