just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
