Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We talked him into tasing himself.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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