my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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