yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
