She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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