i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
