did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
