I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
