dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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