I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
