Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
