I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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