using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
