my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
